since things ended with dude (see entry titled: “two weeks”), i really believe in hindsight that i’ve made the best decision. things are coming full circle and on a day like today, Valentine’s Day, he would have been stressing me about why we weren’t spending this day together. anyone who knows me is aware of my Love Day tradition (i’ll tell you how that tradition started another time). i spend it with my sister, brother-in-law, and whatever small number of selected guests they decide to invite. we enjoy steak, baked potatoes, crab cakes, salad, rolls, some fancy drink concoction, topped off with assorted scrumptious desserts. i can never think of any other place i’d rather be. sure i liked him, but i never felt compelled to spend Valentine’s Day with him. so we would argue, and i would be left feeling an immense amount of stress wrapped in a blanket of guilt.
well, not this year! no arguing, no bickering or guilty, stressful emotions clouding my mind during dinner. instead i relaxed, enjoyed tasty food, great conversation, exchanged loud laughs and fascinating stories. it’s where i wanted to be. and i loved every minute of it. im so satisfied where i am now.. this time last year i was so unhappy. shedding dead weight this year has never felt so good.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
10 Tips to Improve Your Self-Esteem
1. Do what you love.
Everyone loves to do something, when you indulge yourself in your love you improve the way you feel about yourself. You improve your self esteem.
2. Help others out.
Nothing makes you feel a warm glow than when you unselfishly help others. Of course you can argue that this in itself is selfish, but if you take that line of thought you must think that existence is selfish. Forget that. Just do a good deed, help someone out, doesn’t have to be big and it doesn’t have to cost any money.
3. Acknowledge your strengths
There is no one who has no strengths. Everyone is good at something, know what your good at and give yourself a pat on the back. Do things that bring this quality out into the open. Excercise it, make it stronger.
4. Don’t put up with crap.
There is no reason you should tolerate other people being mean to you. Even if they say they are doing it with love. Make sure people know they should be nice to you and if they refuse, walk away from them.
5. Drop your negative friends.
Hang out with people who are positive and support you. It may be fun to bitch and moan but if you hang out with these types of people you will eventually become one of them. You may have noticed that people who bitch and moan are never happy.
6. Do your research
A lof of self help books are a waste of time in the sense that the only person who can change you is you. Reading even this blog post will not change you unless you get emotionally involved with the information. Which is really hard as it’s really dry and boring. Go read biographies of people you respect, people who do positive things and attain huge success. Learn from the master not the self help guru who is always in debt.
7. Learn to accept compliments.
It’s hard to accept a compliment and not to dismiss it as being ridiculous. Someone has an opinion and it should be respected, even if you do not argree with it. If people think good about you then maybe you should too.
8. Include positivity in your life.
I’m not talking an airy fairy chant in the mirror whilst naked. I mean take a positive slant on everything automatically. The meat pie you just bit in to may contain maggots, but maggots contain a lot of protein. OK that’s a bit extreme but you get the point.
9. Compare yourself against yourself.
If you look at how you were yesterday and how you are today and there is an improvement then that is great. If there is no improvement then you know you need to improve your efforts. Don’t start comparing your self to other people. Saying you are poor compared to D. Trump is just going to make you miserable.
10. There is no need for you to put yourself down.
By seeing yourself in a negative light you are only reinforcing your low self esteem. If you want to improve your self esteem. Ask yourself, how can I improve my self esteem. The answer will always be, find one positive thing about yourself and that will do it
Everyone loves to do something, when you indulge yourself in your love you improve the way you feel about yourself. You improve your self esteem.
2. Help others out.
Nothing makes you feel a warm glow than when you unselfishly help others. Of course you can argue that this in itself is selfish, but if you take that line of thought you must think that existence is selfish. Forget that. Just do a good deed, help someone out, doesn’t have to be big and it doesn’t have to cost any money.
3. Acknowledge your strengths
There is no one who has no strengths. Everyone is good at something, know what your good at and give yourself a pat on the back. Do things that bring this quality out into the open. Excercise it, make it stronger.
4. Don’t put up with crap.
There is no reason you should tolerate other people being mean to you. Even if they say they are doing it with love. Make sure people know they should be nice to you and if they refuse, walk away from them.
5. Drop your negative friends.
Hang out with people who are positive and support you. It may be fun to bitch and moan but if you hang out with these types of people you will eventually become one of them. You may have noticed that people who bitch and moan are never happy.
6. Do your research
A lof of self help books are a waste of time in the sense that the only person who can change you is you. Reading even this blog post will not change you unless you get emotionally involved with the information. Which is really hard as it’s really dry and boring. Go read biographies of people you respect, people who do positive things and attain huge success. Learn from the master not the self help guru who is always in debt.
7. Learn to accept compliments.
It’s hard to accept a compliment and not to dismiss it as being ridiculous. Someone has an opinion and it should be respected, even if you do not argree with it. If people think good about you then maybe you should too.
8. Include positivity in your life.
I’m not talking an airy fairy chant in the mirror whilst naked. I mean take a positive slant on everything automatically. The meat pie you just bit in to may contain maggots, but maggots contain a lot of protein. OK that’s a bit extreme but you get the point.
9. Compare yourself against yourself.
If you look at how you were yesterday and how you are today and there is an improvement then that is great. If there is no improvement then you know you need to improve your efforts. Don’t start comparing your self to other people. Saying you are poor compared to D. Trump is just going to make you miserable.
10. There is no need for you to put yourself down.
By seeing yourself in a negative light you are only reinforcing your low self esteem. If you want to improve your self esteem. Ask yourself, how can I improve my self esteem. The answer will always be, find one positive thing about yourself and that will do it
Thursday, January 20, 2011
my life... simplied
the old folks used to say, “you don’t know like I know what the LORD has done for me.” it pains me to think of myself as getting old, but that sentence sure does ring true when i reflect on the last two years of my life. i’ve been through so much. no one person knows the entire story, not even if they think they do.
but i will share this: September 11, 2010 changed my life forever. if you know me, then you know i love clothes, high heeled shoes, loud nail polish, headbands, over sized purses and elaborate accessories. and i had a lot of those things. but on that day, i lost everything i owned in a house fire. all except my BlackBerry, car keys, one pair of jeans, a small load of whites i’d washed the previous night, along with the sweatpants and purple tank i was wearing.
i thought i was going to lose my mind. literally. i attribute much of my sanity, during that time, to my amazing sister Sharlene who listened, allowed me to cry, vent, but also reminded me that life goes on. “you can mourn, but you can’t stay here,” is what she told me. my family was so supportive during that time and i am most thankful that my brother and nephew were not hurt. but the most valuable lesson i’ve learned is a life simplified is a fulfilling life! less stuff to keep up with, less running around trying to keep folks happy, less holding my tongue out of fear, less racking my brain trying to figure what i’m wearing days, sometimes even weeks in advance. it’s time out for that.
i’m calming down, laying low and learning about Candace. i’m enjoying my alone time and i’m finally doing what makes me happy. it’s an exhilarating feeling! i feel an incredible sense of freedom and empowerment and i love it! so much of my dead weight got burned in that fire and i couldn’t be more grateful. it has allowed me to shed the past and move forward with a fresh perspective. i feel like if i can bounce back from these last two difficult years, i can pretty much do anything. no boundaries.
although i lost all of my material belongings, i still have my right mind, love, joy, peace and wonderful family and friends to share it.
2011 will be the year to conquer every one of my fears. it can’t be That hard.
but i will share this: September 11, 2010 changed my life forever. if you know me, then you know i love clothes, high heeled shoes, loud nail polish, headbands, over sized purses and elaborate accessories. and i had a lot of those things. but on that day, i lost everything i owned in a house fire. all except my BlackBerry, car keys, one pair of jeans, a small load of whites i’d washed the previous night, along with the sweatpants and purple tank i was wearing.
i thought i was going to lose my mind. literally. i attribute much of my sanity, during that time, to my amazing sister Sharlene who listened, allowed me to cry, vent, but also reminded me that life goes on. “you can mourn, but you can’t stay here,” is what she told me. my family was so supportive during that time and i am most thankful that my brother and nephew were not hurt. but the most valuable lesson i’ve learned is a life simplified is a fulfilling life! less stuff to keep up with, less running around trying to keep folks happy, less holding my tongue out of fear, less racking my brain trying to figure what i’m wearing days, sometimes even weeks in advance. it’s time out for that.
i’m calming down, laying low and learning about Candace. i’m enjoying my alone time and i’m finally doing what makes me happy. it’s an exhilarating feeling! i feel an incredible sense of freedom and empowerment and i love it! so much of my dead weight got burned in that fire and i couldn’t be more grateful. it has allowed me to shed the past and move forward with a fresh perspective. i feel like if i can bounce back from these last two difficult years, i can pretty much do anything. no boundaries.
although i lost all of my material belongings, i still have my right mind, love, joy, peace and wonderful family and friends to share it.
2011 will be the year to conquer every one of my fears. it can’t be That hard.
Friday, April 23, 2010
"...because when you look good, you feel good."
Cardigans & Pearls
The Official Guide to Building Your Personal Style
Must-Have…. Style.
“If you look good, you feel good.” Cliche? Yes. False? Absolutely Not.
Personal style is one of the most important assets for one to be taken seriously in the real world. What’s the first thing people see when you walk into a room—your style…Well, they may take a second to look at your face, but I guarantee, next they’re checking out your style or, errr…lack thereof.
Think about it, would you really trust a hairdresser who’s hair looks like she just rolled out of bed and headed to the salon? Or a mechanic whose car always breaks down half way to the shop? Of course Not.
Likewise, no one is going to take your seriously if your attire isn’t fashionably up to par. Whether you’re going on a first date or a first interview, what you choose to wear can be as important as what you choose to say.
And I am not asking you to conform to society’s seemingly superficial standards of proper appearance. I am asking you to embrace… to cultivate… to transform your outer appearance to reflect your inner beauty.
This transformation will make you more confident when you approach new endeavors. More self-assured when meeting new people. More proud when you look at yourself in the mirror. Ready to face the world at all costs.
Just think about it, if you don’t get asked out on a second date or you don’t get the job… at least you know it wasn’t because you didn’t look the part!
And don’t worry, for you less fashionably savvy ladies and gentlemen, I will be here hold your hand as you walk this road to becoming the fashionably confident person you’ve been dying to become!
I’ve created a list of basic essentials to help build a classic yet chic wardrobe. Glance at the list… Glance in your closet… And make the proper enhancements to your wardrobe… Until next time…
Must Haves for Ladies
The “Little Black Dress”
Black Pumps
Trench Coat
White Oxford (crisp)
Classic Cardigans
Black Blazer
Strand of Pearls
Boyfriend Blazer
Animal Prints
The Official Guide to Building Your Personal Style
Must-Have…. Style.
“If you look good, you feel good.” Cliche? Yes. False? Absolutely Not.
Personal style is one of the most important assets for one to be taken seriously in the real world. What’s the first thing people see when you walk into a room—your style…Well, they may take a second to look at your face, but I guarantee, next they’re checking out your style or, errr…lack thereof.
Think about it, would you really trust a hairdresser who’s hair looks like she just rolled out of bed and headed to the salon? Or a mechanic whose car always breaks down half way to the shop? Of course Not.
Likewise, no one is going to take your seriously if your attire isn’t fashionably up to par. Whether you’re going on a first date or a first interview, what you choose to wear can be as important as what you choose to say.
And I am not asking you to conform to society’s seemingly superficial standards of proper appearance. I am asking you to embrace… to cultivate… to transform your outer appearance to reflect your inner beauty.
This transformation will make you more confident when you approach new endeavors. More self-assured when meeting new people. More proud when you look at yourself in the mirror. Ready to face the world at all costs.
Just think about it, if you don’t get asked out on a second date or you don’t get the job… at least you know it wasn’t because you didn’t look the part!
And don’t worry, for you less fashionably savvy ladies and gentlemen, I will be here hold your hand as you walk this road to becoming the fashionably confident person you’ve been dying to become!
I’ve created a list of basic essentials to help build a classic yet chic wardrobe. Glance at the list… Glance in your closet… And make the proper enhancements to your wardrobe… Until next time…
Must Haves for Ladies
The “Little Black Dress”
Black Pumps
Trench Coat
White Oxford (crisp)
Classic Cardigans
Black Blazer
Strand of Pearls
Boyfriend Blazer
Animal Prints
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